too lost in You!!
...written on Sunday, Apr. 18, 2004, @ 7:45 p.m.
just got home from keith's house.. din wanna take bus cuz i wanted to walk home.. alot of things on my mind lately.. can't concentrate on my studies.. as i was walking home, been really thinking la.. on friends, family, my life etc..
friends are good to have la.. someone to talk to, someone to love and be loved, someone to carry ur burdens with u, someone to cry with u, someone to listen to u.. they are always there when u needed them the most.. but somehow, sometimes, they can hurt u quite deeply too.. maybe there's no evil intentions to it, maybe there is, there's hurt.. something that is really hard to heal.. it comes slowly, it accumulates.. it spoils friendships.. issit the temptation of the devil?? alot of things happened.. i prayed.. it comes again.. i am confused, lost in my dreams.. sweet dreams, nightmare, lust, hatred.. its beginning to tear down my life.. fortunately, it is through all these trials that make God seemed so real in my life.. but then again.. its a choice of whether i should let go and let God.. its an obvious choice.. as a christian n as a child of god.. but its not as easy as it sounds.. i know i can only live a normal life after sorting out certain things with God.. i will try.. and i believe god will give me strength..
the walk home was quite effective i suppose.. but i felt as though im running away from reality, got lost in my own touts.. just walking, enjoying the coold breeze.. pushing everything else aside.. wad is happening to me?? is that really me?? bleah..