friends?
...written on Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005, @ 11:03 p.m.
i've been thinking about the changes from last year to this year. i guess partly is because of the change of role in YF. i used to be a regular timmy but now, i think as an ACGl, i took on more responsibility and thus, force me to grow up in that sense. apart from that, somehow, i grew closer to some pple and as for others, our friendship drifted apart. can be good can be bad, depending on how u look at it. as i did my reflections, i realised one thing. all things on earth are temporal except for the love of God. last time i used to think that friendship meant alot to me, sometimes even more than God. at that time, i suppose that my relationship with God wasn't that firm yet. anyway, thats not my point. the point is that like what mich says, friends come and go.
in reality, alot of things dun go the way we want them to be. we dun have control over them. if we held on these things too tightly, we will end up hurting ourselves. therefore, all of us should learn to let go. i'm not saying that friendship is not important. just that if a friendship is hanging on the edge for too long, letting it go might be a better choice. afterall, time will never stop for us. life still goes on. i guess as we grow up, our perspective of friends changed. they play a different role in our lives now. it can be a more important role, or perhaps just someone to talk to when no one is there.
i'm thankful that God sent me alot of friends whom i can relate to in YF. i believe that all of them came into my life for a reason. be it friends in the past or the present, i love them all the same. i think love is something that will never fades away completely. like that song "pass it on", it just takes a little spark to get the flame burning again. somehow or rather, old friendships can be renewed if efforts are put in. just like the mob guys for example, there were past conflicts and even times when we needed time to chill off. at the end of the day, if either one of us initiated to reconcile, the friendship would be renewed or better still, the bond will be thickened.
to know a person's love language is very important. for me, i think alot of u should know by now (quality time and physical touch). to get close to someone, all we have to do is to compliment these love languages. like me and eliel, we started off as total strangers but after the trip, we became buddies. reason is simple. we spent alot of time together. someone once told me. the people whom u treasured most are the one that u are willing to spend the most time with. busy is just a lame excuse. there are 24 hrs a day. minus off 8 hrs of slp, u have 16 hrs left. during this 16 hrs, there will confirm be time to rest. how long do one need to send an sms to chat with friends or whatever. heh. think i am abit out of point already.
i think i will conclude with my views/expectations of friends. basically, i think the most fundamental things that people look out for before deciding to befriend someone is sincerity and honesty. to be close friends, one has to share their lives with each other. this is especially true in a christian context. we should pray and encourage one another constantly. i think sharing is very important. it helps us understand our friends' struggles and also affirm us that we already obtain their trust. this allows us to share to them as well. so when that happens, we are able to touch on the spiritual side of the friendship. alot of times between guys especially, we stopped at the stage where we can only have fun together and thats it. guys would prefer to store things to ourselves rather than exposing our weaknesses to people. this is proven dangerous through past experiences and i told myself not to fall into this trap again. pride in guys is like a wall that block of the Holy Spirit. only when we are willing to humble ourselves and let god work in us, then can we proceed on to another level. being vulnerable in christ allows Him who is greater than us to work more effectively through us. i think living as a christian is very simple. all u have to do is to trust and obey God. anyway, as i was saying about sharing, once the sharing stops, the intimacy in a friendship might become stagnant too. as for quality time, i think thats self explainatory. there's no such thing as an instant closeness. it takes time to develop a sense of trust in a person. if u want to get to know someone more, then spend more time with them. its that simple. i struggle with that alot especially when i only have like weekends to go out with friends. during weekdays, its quite impossible to go out due to the projects and stuff. at most, i can only talk on the phone, which is quite effective too. heh. being around people makes me happy. arh.. its almost 12am already. better slp now. i will talk more about being close to someone tomorrow. heh