chinese new year
...written on Tuesday, Feb. 08, 2005, @ 10:38 p.m.
hohoho. happy new year everyone!! guess wad, i had lessons on today eventhough its suppose to be a HOLIday. oh well.
i had quite an exciting morning. was smsing ivan while i travelled to school from home. he was thinking of crashing my lessons but unfortunately, i had 2 tutorials only, which makes it impossible for him to do so because the classes are smaller. it was exciting because it would be fun having him in class but then if he was to come, i'll be worried that he'll get caught. in the end, he obviously didn't crash and we decided to meet for lunch in town after my lessons.
i called him after i got dismissed and guess wad, he was reading in my school library. it was a very pleasant surprise. heh. we went to the wrong bus stop and waited for probably five minutes before i realised my mistake. thankfully, none of us was in a hurry. it was nice to travel with someone especially long distance rides.
lunch at far east was quite good. we had the famous chicken rice. actually i would prefer the one on the 3rd floor but it was closed so we went to the 2nd floor stall which was also quite alright. i brought ivan to eat the turkish ice cream after and had a fun time watching him get tricked. *evil grin*
actually i wanted to get some clothes from isetan but i got quite sicked of shopping after yesterday. in fact, i don't find shopping that entertaining like i used to. shopping can be fun if u can afford. well, recently i haven been saving up so ya. heh.
i wanted to watch a movie but the time slot sucks. but then again, ivan seemed to be quite reluctant so ya. doesn't matter since we skipped that. we continued walking forward from cineleisure and ended up at PS again. i think i must agree with ivan - PS is quit a ncie place to slack. we spent most of our time in the arcade. the most happening of all was at the DDR machine. played like 3 games. it was a good way to lose weight because u perpire alot after that.
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friends or independent
actually i think friends that we have now, to a certain point in time, we will no longer be that close. we can't love them as much i think, or maybe in a different way. i dunno. thats just my guess. i feel that after 23, things will be different. people will be different. we are forced to be mature. we do things in a mature manner. there's not much of fun anymore. no more stacking on the church sofa, no more stayovers etc. from now to when i reach 23, i have slightly more than 3 years. during this period of time, it should be a time of 'evolution' for me or can i still remain as me? i dun actually suggests that we should think so far. heh. maybe i should just cherish whatever i have now and just take one step at a time. but being me, i dun like to be clueless or directionless about my future. i need to visualise and work towards it.
should i just learn to be independent? in that way, i won't get hurt by my friends, not need to worry whether my friends will leave me. i hate that feeling. no one does. i hate being alone. but im improving, at least i can go out alone now. but seriously, even if i go out alone, i will carry a discman and listen to music while i get whatever i need from the shopping list. i wished i could be more independent sometimes. hmmm. if u look at this in a different angle:
sometimes i think as a guy, we dun allow people to love us so much. that will slowly reveal our weaknesses. we dun dare to share because of the same reason too. we are prideful and we thrist for power, power to be in control. if we are able to learn how to let go of the pride and let others love us abit more, it'll be really nice! guys like any normal human beings, we want to be loved too. whee. i am repeating myself again and again. its not that healthy. hah. i wished i can trust people completely, or rather someone or a group of people. its hard not to get hurt when u are too close to someone.